wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.