Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
