Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
