Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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