she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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