It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
