69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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