Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
