I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
