SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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