so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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