I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
