I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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