do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
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We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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