he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
