Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize