Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
