I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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