i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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