I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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