Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize