Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
