Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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