We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
