Dude my mom stole all your condoms
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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