It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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