So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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