i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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