It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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