Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
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He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.