i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.