I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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