Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
