We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize