Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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