did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He felt like a one man threesome
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
