The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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