we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
