I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize