he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
