it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
