Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
