So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
