Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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