i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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