You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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