I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
