so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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