Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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