She's JV to your varsity
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...