She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My liver just had a heart attack.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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