dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
