bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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