Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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