he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
