I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
