Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
