There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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