i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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